It is a spiritual problem
Pornography usage is not just a physical problem. It is a spiritual problem. Due to original sin, we have a weakened intellect and will. Instead of properly ordering our passions through our intellect and will, we tend to make choices based on our passions and emotions. Passions and emotions are not bad, but when they are not properly ordered, we can make bad choices based on a perceived good. For example, a person may initially start using pornography because it gives them pleasure, and they ignore or are ignorant of the harmful effects of pornography, or fail to recognize it as a violent act against the true good of sexuality and relationships. We choose to sin and reject God. A person will experience the harmful effect of pornography, even if they don't know it is a sin.
One of our deepest fears is that we believe others will stop loving us if they knew everything about us, if they knew our dark secrets and our sins. It is one of the reasons people struggling with pornography live in isolation with their problem. And by extension, many believe that God can’t truly love them, but that God only tolerates them.
However, the Old and New Testaments proclaim God’s abundant love and mercy culminating in God becoming one of us in His only Son Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.” (Jon 3:16-17) And Jesus says, “I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” (Jon 10:10) God does not abandon us. God knows we struggle. In His abundant love for us, God desires to become one of us, to journey with us and to deliver us from our sins.
For the person struggling with pornography, a spiritual struggle requires a spiritual response.
Prayer
Start a daily habit of prayer. There's that word habit, and for good reason. When you develop a habit of prayer, prayer becomes easy. Your mind and body knows what to do automatically, even when things are difficult. Prayer helps us develop a trusting friendship with Jesus Christ. Not merely reciting the words, but praying from the heart, whether it be speaking your own words, or reciting a prayer such as the Our Father, or praying with scripture. Prayer is time spent with God. Prayer is relationship. Prayer is essential to defeating pornography.
The Sacraments and Confession
Make frequent use of the sacraments, especially the sacrament of reconciliation. Ask anyone who frequents confession, or any holy person and they’ll say it can be frustrating and humbling to confess the same sin again and again. But realize, confession is much more than merely confessing sins. It is not the priest who forgives our sins, but Jesus Christ working through the priest. Jesus, who is the Divine Physician and who instituted the sacraments, knows that we need his grace and healing. The sanctifying grace we receive in the sacrament of reconciliation is a source of healing. Confession is a loving and merciful encounter with Christ who desires not only to forgive our sins, but also to heal us. To root sin and the effects of sin out of our lives. And Christ not only desires to heal us, but also to restore us.
Confessor
It is recommended to go to a single confessor. Someone struggling with pornography often experiences shame and it may be embarrassing to go to the same priest. But a good priest shares the heart of Christ and hence desires not only that sins are forgiven, but also that the penitent receives healing. A single confessor can better see patterns emerging over time and then give better advice.
Spiritual Accountability Group
Consider joining a spiritual support group. It is helpful to talk about your struggles with others and to know that you are not alone.
Create a new habit
When facing temptation, replace the habit of pornography with a spiritual habit. For example, turn to prayer: Ask God for help; or give God thanks; or pray for someone in need. Or Turn to the Word of God. Read Scripture or practice Lectio Divina, praying with Scripture. It is not easy. The brain will respond, “Um, I don’t think so. Thanks but no thanks. That's just not how we do things around here. We got this.” However, over time, the brain will start to learn this new habit when facing temptation. Understand, this is an over simplification of this process. Both Covenant Eyes and RECLAIM Sexual Health are valuable resources to both learn in-depth about the struggle with pornography and the processes of the brain, as well as services and science based programs to help a person quit pornography.
In everything, know that you are God’s precious son or daughter. He desires not only to heal you, but to restore you.
Protecting Children
Never before has pornography been so easily accessible by children, and at an intensity and scale no other generation has ever experienced. The majority of pornography usage by children is in the home. It is critical that parents be aware of this threat, and take steps to protect their children.
Getting Help
Many, who have developed a habit of viewing pornography who then want to stop, whether they have had a sincere conversion of faith or are preparing to enter into a faithful marriage with their beloved or for any other reason, find it very difficult to stop. This is in part due to how the brain functions. Shear will power is often not enough and they often find themselves in a cycle of failure and despair. But there help. There is hope.